Musician, heal thyself

I have been thinking about music being the musician’s therapy.

The word “therapy” can refer to an activity that relieves tension. It can also refer to an activity that has remedial or curative power.

One of the things I love about music is its manifold levels of experience. The creator and the hearer both benefit at varying levels of depth which again varies with time and circumstance. The individual expresses–lets out–something that resides within. Something about it resonates with the hearer. It may evoke thoughts as simple as “hey, this is a good beat” or as profound as “this songwriter knows as deep a pain as my own.” I believe that both the expression and the resonant encounter with it are therapeutic.

Many musicians have asked me, “If I go to counseling, won’t my creativity suffer since it stems from unresolved anxiety or stress?” My answer is that your creativity is a gift that you are already using which is great! The choice in counseling to confront the elements in your history that drive you only opens up greater depths of originality and inventiveness.

Who are you

One of the reasons the lifestyle choice of musician is a difficult one is that there can be an either/or quality to the musician’s identity. Am I the person that people see on stage–supremely confident and bringing an audience to life–or am I the person who struggles with intimate relationships and looks in the mirror some mornings wondering if life is worth living?

Of course the answer is both, but at times the dichotomy can be torturous. It is a great high to be visible and expressive and have the public appreciate and value you. In contrast, the inescapable mundane parts of living can feel very low and confusing.

I hope you have someone to talk to about all the breadth and texture of your life.

Another brick in the wall

Often when bands are experiencing conflict, they perpetuate the conflict much longer than necessary. This is because it’s difficult to step out of the ways we usually communicate under stress.

One of those ways is sarcasm. The good thing about sarcasm is that there is sometimes a lot of truthful sentiment wrapped up in it. The bad thing is it is in a form of attack meant to express thoughts while hiding vulnerability. The effect is to put the other on the defensive and often the response is sarcasm. This kind of exchange easily escalates to a level of cruelty that neither party really wants to be a part of, and what really needs to be said is lost. It frequently leads to strained relationships between musicians and sometimes to the dissolution of the band.

Your band is made up of musicians from different backgrounds and patterns of relating and it is inevitable that there will be differences of view. That’s part of what is so cool about doing what you do. The art you collaboratively create and the connection you feel when you’re creating and playing could not happen without each unique person present. It is important to be intentional about learning how to manage conflict and communicate clearly. Gaining these skills will serve you well now and for the duration.

What’s God got to do with it

In a recent conversation regarding faith and belief systems, I stated that rather than one belief system being the right one, “It’s about how we treat our fellow human beings.” By this I mean to say that what we believe about God or a Higher Power is reflected in how we treat others. Conversely, much of our pain and confusion in this realm has to do with how others have treated us. Every day, we face the choice of what we call forth from ourselves in light of our life experiences and our freedom.

The musician has an avenue to echo both the hopefulness and the frustration inherent in the struggle to understand. The responsibility of the musician is not to answer the questions, but to ask them. It is simply, yet profoundly, a participation in expressing the human condition.