We can work it out, Part 2

After last week’s post, I found the following quote that I came across this week from weeklybulletin@musicconnection.com particularly pertinent:

If you’re going to create music with other people, you should work out agreements so you can manage expectations. It’s always difficult, especially when there’s money involved, to negotiate things after the fact. Work that out as you’re creating the music instead of just saying, ‘We love each other and it’ll all work out,’ because circumstances change.”

- Shoshana Zisk, music lawyer, San Francisco Music Law (George Clinton, Island Records, Motown Records) Issue 23, 2006.

The phrase that stands out to me most is “managing expectations.” Expectations are almost always unspoken. When they are expressed, it is often at the point of heated conflict where there are feelings of misunderstanding and betrayal. Shoshana’s advice is good: talk about expectations as you’re creating the music. This kind of conversation is not an easy one. It gets to a more personal and vulnerable level. At times, it can be very helpful to have a facilitator for the discussion. I work with bands to do just that. Everyone gets heard and areas that easily cause tension can be managed and conflict diffused.

The goal is for the fun and free flow of collaborative creativity thereby contributing to the success of the band as a whole.

We can work it out

Some of the bands I’ve worked with have had a difficult time when it comes to creative decisions. There is often one visionary and founder who is the driving force behind the band and its music. If that person makes most of the artistic decisions, usually the other members are ok with this for a time. But below the level of awareness, resentment can begin. As unacknowledged resentment builds, small irritants become major points of conflict that seem far out of proportion to their importance. It is likely the conflicts (which aren’t the real issue) will continue until the main problem gets addressed.

There needs to be a time and space made to discuss the artistic roles of each member. The leadership role of the visionary is critical. Likely the band would not exist without him/her. Yet it cannot overshadow the unique contributions of all the other players. Each person needs the opportunity to communicate about what they bring to the sound, in light of the overall vision the leader may have in mind. The collaboration is where the bright spark of any one band’s sound is ignited.

Even if most often the members of the band are in agreement creatively, it is important that there exist an avenue for discussion when exceptions occur. It is when issues of artistic decisions and fairness etc. are left unsaid that bitterness can take hold and will inevitably inhibit a band’s success.

Someone saved my life tonight

When I meet someone for the first time and I tell them that I’m a counselor to musicians and bands, I typically get a response somewhere between bewilderment and fascination. Most have never heard of this counseling focus. It takes a few moments for them to let it sink in. The most frequent question subsequently posed to me is “how did you choose that?”

I finished graduate school with a clearer idea not only of the ways I share traits with all of humanity, but of the elements in my history that make me unique. I lived many years not able to articulate and appreciate these elements. During those years it was a wide variety of musicians and bands who voiced for me something I couldn’t voice. Songs like “I Can See Clearly Now” by Johnny Nash, “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd, “Better Man” by Pearl Jam, or “Prayer” by Disturbed created a space for me to feel joy, life, grief, and rage. I am incredibly grateful to these and many, many others for taking some kind of their own desire, pain, or whatever it was and composing the music that landed and met a need somewhere in me.

Not only have I, and do I, interact with songs by applying them to my own world, I have always had a longing to know the artist behind their art. After getting my counseling degree, this expanded to the vision of how I can help artists in practical ways to embrace and enhance their gift as well as to cope with anxiety, discouragement, and difficulties in relationships that they face.

Thank you all.