Counseling musicians and bands

I enjoyed a delightful conversation with a colleague, Mike Jolkovsi, on the East Coast this week (for those of you who don’t know, I’m in Seattle).  Check out his website and blog at http://workingthrough.com

We talked about what our experience has taught us about some of the challenges that creative people face.  Firstly, that being a visionary and wanting to exercise control over the creative process, is not a bad thing, though it is often one of the main ingredients in band conflict.  The energy and commitment to one’s artistic ideas is the foundation upon which most bands exist.  The problem is “in the human difficulty of working together” (Mike’s words).  Merging more than one strong-minded artist into a united entity can be exciting and rewarding.  Being able to communicate well, while working with so much creative intensity, can be difficult.

Secondly, we have both seen that personal backgrounds and subconscious material come into play when conflict arises.  This can be a great invitation to become aware of the areas that elicit strong reactions and to deal with them openly.  It is my firm belief that this choice leads to richer creativity.  In addition, working together as a band on ways of communicating and learning more about each other solidifies the band and sets it on a better path for band longevity.

Lastly, we agreed that talking over ideas and concerns, whether in an individual or group setting, is a great way to embrace one’s talents and to go after the “more” that is always out there.

We share a passion to support musicians, bands, and other creative people in their endeavors.

Thoughts on music and dance

I have been enjoying, not only a lot of good music, but also learning dance.

In many cultures, the two are inextricably linked.  Music reaches deep into our souls and sometimes the response must be expressed through our bodies.  Singing and dancing together with others can also create a very special bond.  This is part of what is so indescribable about a concert experience-a sense of oneness with hundreds, maybe thousands, of others.

The deep emotions experienced can bring joyful and painful memories.  The memories call us to know ourselves better.  Take time to explore them.  It is a path to richer enjoyment of, and freedom to be, who we are.

Travis’ words

Great to read Travis Barker’s own words(from his MySpace blog):

I want to give my deepest thanks to everyone who has helped deal with the current situation. First and foremost, Chris and Che were my friends. I would give up anything to have them here with us today, healthy and happy. To call them my employees does them such a disservice, as they were so much more than that. Chris was my best friend before anything else, and I can never put into words how much he will be missed. Che was an amazing person as well, and I was honored to have him in my life.

I am simply amazed and will be forever grateful for all the support everyone has shown to Chris and Che’s families. Its a testament to how many lives they touched in a positive way.

Like the doctors said from the beginning, its been a slow recovery process. I am coming up on the 7th of my surgeries Monday. Today I finally was able to move all my fingers on my right hand. Every step seems huge at this point, and Im doing EVERYTHING I can possibly do to get back to my kids. Yes, I did start eating meat again, but if it helps me to be home holding my little humans sooner, then its all worth it.

I got to see AM the other day. Seeing him after he was discharged was an inspiration. I saw just how awesome the doctors’ work here is, and got to see how well he is doing. I am so happy to see him doing well, and we are both so lucky and grateful that we are alive today.

Now Im just counting the days until I can leave. I cant wait to get home to play drums with my son, and go for bike rides with my daughter. I cant wait to see the pictures from Landon’s “Jack and Sally Nightmare Before Christmas” birthday party that we had for him today. I am bummed that I couldn’t be there, but thank God Ill be around to see many, many more.

Thank you everyone for your support!

I posted a brief comment to his blog and was struck by the hundreds of comments pouring in.  This is just a fraction of the people that Travis has in some way touched.

There is more I could write but everything pales in light of such quintessential gratitude for life while bearing such profound loss.

Connections

Many of you have heard by now about the Learjet carrying six people that crashed in Columbia, South Carolina this past Friday night.  Four people were killed and the two survivors recovering in a burn center in Augusta, Georgia are Travis Barker and DJ AM.  Here’s a link to the latest news of their condition: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0055003/news#ni0570275 .  According to this source, the two are “expected to fully recover from this horrific event.”

I’ve written before about the way music connects emotion, memory, artist, and fan (see previous blogs “Someone saved my life tonight” and “Musician, heal thyself”).  Today I am further considering the complexity of these associations.

This tragic event has changed the way I will listen to Blink 182 and subsequent projects that drummer Travis Barker has been involved with.  As someone who has enjoyed and appreciated his art, I already feel a kind of connection with him.  When I hear him, I celebrate life–keeping the beat with him, thinking about where I was when I first heard the song and then thinking about the wild ride to where I am today.  Now, I will also be thinking of the horror of what he has survived, wishing I could know how he is, and wishing I could do something to help him.

That’s it . . .

Thoughts on bands and grief and loss

I’ve been thinking of the Dave Matthews Band a lot the last couple of weeks.  They lost their saxophone player (founding member, arranger and co-writer LeRoi Moore) to complications following an ATV accident last June.  To lose a member of the band and continue on without them is very difficult.  Every rehearsal, every concert, every song is a constant reminder of them.

The grieving process is a long one.  The key to moving through it is to stay open to all the possible levels of the grief.  Each will experience these in different measures of time and intensity.  There may be anger, sadness, guilt, and regret.  A critical element of support is to accept one another’s emotions without judgment.  There is not one best or right way to get through, except to remain open to feel.

The most painful, yet most present way to live is finding your own way to celebrate that person’s life with gratitude for being a part of it while the deep emotions of grief are ready to surface at any moment.  The tension between remembering and stepping forward into the future will weigh upon the members of the band for many months, even years.  Your lives ahead will be an endeavor to do both.