I have written about creating and performing music, individually and collaboratively.  One of the ways we respond to music’s influence is through dance.  This opens into a new realm of creativity and skill.  The dancer takes the creative force of the music and in turn creatively interprets and expresses it through his or her body.

Along with the experience of being moved by music at a core level, what ties these artists together is a desire to share what really is a very personal expression with others.  The skills that are used are unique to each, but the drive and dedication to develop those skills are common to both.

Sometimes conflicts and stress can arise, either while working with fellow artists, or within other important relationships.  It may be helpful to take time to identify their cause and learn new ways to address them.

My goal is to help you more fully embrace and enjoy what brings you life as an artist.

We talked about what our experience has taught us about some of the challenges that creative people face.  Firstly, that being a visionary and wanting to exercise control over the creative process, is not a bad thing, though it is often one of the main ingredients in band conflict.  The energy and commitment to one’s artistic ideas is the foundation upon which most bands exist.  The problem is “in the human difficulty of working together” (Mike’s words).  Merging more than one strong-minded artist into a united entity can be exciting and rewarding.  Being able to communicate well, while working with so much creative intensity, can be difficult.

Secondly, we have both seen that personal backgrounds and subconscious material come into play when conflict arises.  This can be a great invitation to become aware of the areas that elicit strong reactions and to deal with them openly.  It is my firm belief that this choice leads to richer creativity.  In addition, working together as a band on ways of communicating and learning more about each other solidifies the band and sets it on a better path for band longevity.

Lastly, we agreed that talking over ideas and concerns, whether in an individual or group setting, is a great way to embrace one’s talents and to go after the “more” that is always out there.

We share a passion to support musicians, bands, and other creative people in their endeavors.

In many cultures, the two are inextricably linked.  Music reaches deep into our souls and sometimes the response must be expressed through our bodies.  Singing and dancing together with others can also create a very special bond.  This is part of what is so indescribable about a concert experience-a sense of oneness with hundreds, maybe thousands, of others.

The deep emotions experienced can bring joyful and painful memories.  The memories call us to know ourselves better.  Take time to explore them.  It is a path to richer enjoyment of, and freedom to be, who we are.

Happy 2009!

Deb 

David wrote that he experienced the dissolution of his band because of the members’ inability to manage and resolve conflict.  “Much of the anger comes from past experiences with other people in our personal and private lives. That’s what’s really in battle during conflicts, past experiences and everyone’s ego. That’s the reason why it’s so important to establish a time when anger is diminished and people are in better control of their feelings.”  I appreciate the strong connection he makes between past experience and the present moment.

When you and your fellow musicians can establish a later time to engage in discussion, you can consider and observe together how these dynamics are in play.  This kind of reflection as a band will make it easier to mediate tension in future rehearsals.  It will help you to understand and appreciate each other in new ways.  And, musically/artistically, you will be able to take your creativity and collaboration to new levels.

One of the ways I help musicians and bands is to facilitate these kinds of discussions.  It can be very helpful to have someone outside of the band lead the way.

One last thought:  I would love to hear from anyone reading this!  Please tell me your experience with band conflict and how you’ve thought about it.  If you prefer not to post a response on this blog, you can send me an email at my website:  deb@debmashock.com

I look forward to hearing from you!

Often there is a predictable course that rehearsals take when there is ongoing conflict in a band.  It begins with an unspoken agreement to avoid topics that cause tension.  Since collaboration is so crucial, the subject inevitably gets voiced.  Tension in the room rises and words are exchanged that have been said many times before.  The rehashing with no constructive resolution is so frustrating that one or more members storm out and the rehearsal ends.

For example, say a band of four members has two that have co-written a song.  The jamming is going well and then comes to a decision of whether to include a drum solo.  Good arguments are put forth for both cases, but everyone begins to feel the clash of personalities.  Neither artist can “lose” the debate because there is more at stake than the decision itself.  For each artist, there are issues of who “wins” that have roots in each of their individual histories.  There are also models of how these scenarios have played out in each of their lives (with parents, siblings, girlfriends/boyfriends, etc.).  When the conflict ends by simply separating, or setting the song aside to work on a different one, little is gained.

However, a lot can be gained by staying in the conflict and changing up the predictable pattern.  Maybe one of the two can decide to defer to the other’s opinion, when normally his style is a “fight to the death.”  Then, at a later more peaceful time, there could be a conversation about experiences of the past and how they creep into conflicts in the band.  Another change might be to pause the rehearsal to talk about the tension itself.  Everyone could be asked to talk about how the fights are affecting their feelings about being in the band.  This likely will lead some members to refer to difficult past experiences (whether or not they choose to speak in specifics).

These ideas of handling conflict in new ways take a certain amount of courage and kindness and are not easy to enact.  But taking the less predictable path leads to fresh discovery interpersonally and artistically.  And, knowing your fellow band members better will also help you play together better!

I posted a brief comment to his blog and was struck by the hundreds of comments pouring in.  This is just a fraction of the people that Travis has in some way touched.

There is more I could write but everything pales in light of such quintessential gratitude for life while bearing such profound loss.

I’ve written before about the way music connects emotion, memory, artist, and fan (see previous blogs “Someone saved my life tonight” and “Musician, heal thyself”).  Today I am further considering the complexity of these associations.

This tragic event has changed the way I will listen to Blink 182 and subsequent projects that drummer Travis Barker has been involved with.  As someone who has enjoyed and appreciated his art, I already feel a kind of connection with him.  When I hear him, I celebrate life–keeping the beat with him, thinking about where I was when I first heard the song and then thinking about the wild ride to where I am today.  Now, I will also be thinking of the horror of what he has survived, wishing I could know how he is, and wishing I could do something to help him.

That’s it . . .

The grieving process is a long one.  The key to moving through it is to stay open to all the possible levels of the grief.  Each will experience these in different measures of time and intensity.  There may be anger, sadness, guilt, and regret.  A critical element of support is to accept one another’s emotions without judgment.  There is not one best or right way to get through, except to remain open to feel.

The most painful, yet most present way to live is finding your own way to celebrate that person’s life with gratitude for being a part of it while the deep emotions of grief are ready to surface at any moment.  The tension between remembering and stepping forward into the future will weigh upon the members of the band for many months, even years.  Your lives ahead will be an endeavor to do both.

There is a rich mutuality between the performer and the audience. The musician is offering an experience. The audience wants to respond and interact with the experience. The moment of connection between the two can be marvelous, even mystical.

From my background working with musicians, as well as being one myself, I find a kind of paradox at work. The outward performance–the leadership, confidence, and strength–often springs from a place of deep introspection and self-doubt. The writing and performing come, not only from a knowledge of one’s talent, but from an at times oppressive desire to fill a space they have. I have had musicians tell me that they do what they do, not simply because they want to, but that they need to, and thus will suffer and sacrifice to pursue their art. There is a driving energy that fuels the courage it takes to perform and to bear being critiqued as well as appreciated.

My hope is for musicians to have, not necessarily less introspection, but less self-contempt or doubt–that their energy will more and more come from being amazed at their own life journey and at the privilege of inviting people to marvelous, mystical moments.